Dear diary,

#001

This is a new menu item to my blog, I post diary entries in here. It seemed a nice idea to me so enjoy. 

For a while I switched off my feelings. I felt alone for a long time. Not feeling anything, and pretending not to care. The one thing I can’t understand; why? I’m surrounded by so many people who love me, it didn’t make any sense. 

It felt like I was dead inside, but somebody got me out and brought me back. I think this has to do with different kind of things. Of course I’ve been hurt by some people in the past, but isn’t everybody hurt by somebody they cared about? I’ve learned from the people that hurt me, so in some way I’m thankful for that. 

My feelings work like a switch, at least I think that’s the best way to describe it. I can put them on, and feel every emotion extemely deep. But I can also shut them out, not feeling anything and not caring about some people. 

I do think that feelings are dangerous and in some way a weakness. I think that this is one of the reasons I’ve shut them out for a while, to keep myself save. The fact is, I can’t. I can’t pretend not to care when I do, I can’t have feelings for somebody when I do. I think life is all about accepting these feelings and emotions, they’re the most important part of living.  

I think we should stop looking for the happiness when it’s right in front of us, and for feelings; just accept what we feel. For the person who brought me back, I owe this to you. I’m going to live my life in the best way possible. 

💋’s Denise. 

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